A Brief History of Absolut

Recently, our mixer attended an intensive vodka mixing course to better our mixing skills. One of the highlights of the course was a discussion about the history of Absolut Vodka, the official poison of choice for PARTYMAKERS. Absolut Vodka was founded in 1869 by Mr. Absolut (hence it is called absolut vodka, duh) who was an aspiring artist at the Stockholm Academy of Fine Arts. In his spare time, he liked to doodle gay pictures of lions with sky-blue eyes. However, lions were all he could draw, thus he focused his attention on his other passion-- getting wasted.
However, his success in his newfound passion was not all smooth sailing. The black community at that time did not favour his liquor because they did not identify with the lack of colour, and thus sales plummeted. Being the ever resourceful person he is, Mr. Absolut introduced Absolut Afrika in 1889 and won the hearts of the black community. It is simply normal vodka in a black bottle, but it fooled them nonetheless. We hear it will be enjoy a revival due to its popularity amongst Hip-Hop singers.
We have probably all seen the man in the medallion featured on the bottles, but have you ever wondered who the hell it is? Yes! It is Pavarotti! Apparently Mr. Absolut was a patron of the performing arts, and was such a fan of Pavarotti that he featured him on all his bottles. As you can see he went through many ideas, such as Charlie Chaplin (top right), and a bushel of marijuana (bottom right), but he finally decided putting Pavarotti on a medallion was the best way to pay tribute to his "life partner".

Wow, Absolut has really come a long way to becoming the iconic drink it is today. This is due to the company's multiple efforts to create new flavours, such as Absolut Pears, Absolut Citron and Absolut Peppar. It will also be introducing regional flavours, like Absolut Urea, 40% vodka with 60% NeWater-- only in Singapore!
No we are just kidding-- that flavour will be available all around the world and released on Singapore Day.

Mr. Absolut is really my hero-- look how talented he is! Here, he is trying to build a glass house shaped like an absolut bottle to house the billions he's earned from making people wasted. There will be a giant jacuzzi filled with what else? Vodka! situated right where the bottle cap is supposed to be. Unfortunately i think he's no longer around.
Uh Oh, looks like Mr. Absolut does not care about saving trees! He wrapped all the bottles in paper! Thankfully, during the Hippies movement in the seventies, millions of hippies, after getting wasted on absolut, thought it would be a great idea to write on tons of paper to lodge a petition against such a waste of paper! therefore, absolut now comes naked.

Alright! hope u enjoyed the concise and interesting history of absolut! Remember, our mixers are now certified VERY GOOD by the Absolut National Association of Liquor. On a related note, we are officially in business, so please do help to spread the word. Our rates are very competitive and will be released online, so watch out for it!